You have to stop saying you have “man shoulders.”
Or that you “lift like a boy.”
Or that you “don’t want to get bulky.”
& here’s my two cents on all of the above.
You know my stance on women and our shoulders. Swimmers’ shoulders, man-shoulders, broad shoulders, whatever you want to call them. Our shoulders hold up so much more than just our heads. How many times have you had to, pick up a crying baby? Or throw a toddler over your head? How many trips to the grocery store have you done and then been too stubborn to do more than one trip into the house? Think about the time when you held a sign up straight in front of you because your friend got married during a pandemic and you wanted to show your support.
If you have broad shoulders first of all - shoulders, clavicles, arms, all beautiful and feminine features, and, as I’ve said before, we can use the clothing we chose to adorn ourselves to enhance or diminish this feature.
Broad Shouldered Girls:
1. Make sure your clothes fit. Your shoulder seam should hit right at the ball of your shoulder when you’re looking for sweaters or tops with a set-in sleeve.
*set-in sleeve is this:
Why: If it’s too tight the seam will come up and pull closer to your clavicle which will make long wear uncomfortable and pull at the garment.
If it’s too loose and the seam is coming off your shoulder and slanting you’ll look like you hunched over all the time.
2. Sleeveless: Go for sleeveless tops that are cut inward instead of straight down like this:
Cut straight down from your widest part will make you look wider than you are.
“You lift like a boy” translates into, “You prioritize strength and you aren’t afraid of big weights.”
Think about this, when do you feel strong? What makes you feel powerful? For me, I feel good when I lift the max I can lift. Not all the time, cause… that’s crazy. But a lot of the time. I also prioritize my time over a long workout. So, yes, I may train similar to a stereotypical man. But why does that matter when it’s what makes me feel the best?
Ask yourself what makes you feel the best? Am I doing that or am I letting outside factors get in my way? Goes for clothes too. When you look good, you feel good right? So what makes you feel strong, powerful, all of the words. Think about your outfit. What do you see?
That is your power outfit. And I don’t care if it’s a suit, a crop top, and jeans or a dress. When you’re looking to start building out your capsule wardrobe start with your power look. 
This will be the heart of your capsule. Everything else in it should work with this look. Meaning it can be mixed and matched, works in the same colour palette, same overall vibe.
Now, the last one. The “I don’t want to get bulky” comment.
First things first. You would have to lift so much weight and eat so much food to get “bulky” that at that point even you, who's scared of getting bulky, would be impressed.
But I come back to you on that comment and ask, why? What is it that scares you? Is it that your clothes wouldn’t fit? That you would feel less feminine?
Now, ask yourself how you do want to feel. Are you working towards those goals? And how can you start with those goals?
For me, this is what works:
- Triage. What is my priority? One. Do you know the word priority was only pluralized in the 1900s? That’s when we started getting stressed!
- Define it. “I want to be successful” doesn’t count. It doesn’t count because there’s no end. What does that mean and how do you know when you’ve met that goal? So, get SPECIFIC.
Learn to rest, not quit. This one was a hard one for me as I’m sure it is for you. Because when do we get a break, the world is constantly moving and we get no time for breaks. What I’ve learned is that I need a day a week to be off social media -to stop the comparison game, and I need to move every day. Find what works for you and make it part of your self-care process.
